A friend of mine is scanning through the matrimonial site to fish out a groom for herself. Out of few criteria she has, one of them is that the salary (CTC - cost to the company) she earns should be less than that of the groom.
Sounds logical requirement. Her justification to hold such belief is based on cases where there is considerable ego clashes between husband and wife. In a traditional settings, husband is expected to earn. While coming to dual income, there is an unwritten expectation from the society or the couples that the husband should be earning more. When this situation is violated, there is a chance that the couples pick up some kind of inferior/superior complexities and leading to frictious altercations, drifting from the harmonious life.
Hence my friend feels she needs to find a person whose ctc is more than herself. This fix seems to be difficult but doable. However, in my opinion, this workaround seems to be superficial and doesnot address the original problem.
If the friend finds the person who meets this criteria, and after marriage the friend gets a hike ... there are few paths she could take.
* Tell her manager that she is not interested in the hike and put down the hike
* Request her manager to delay the hike till her husband gets the raise
* Accept the hike and never tell that to anyone .. that will prevent the ego clash
Well, none of these seems practical.
My friend's response to this case study is to manage the situation at that point of time. If the situation is manageable at that time, why not relax the criteria and seek a person who is mature enough to cooperate in managing such situation?
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Better not to marry a guy who has got the EGO and feels inferior if he draws less salary when compared to his wife.
Are all women who draw less salaries than their husbands feeling inferior? They have their own strength of mind and great self respect. Seems some men lack it.And hence, they expect wives to feed the husband's Ego!!
Infact I am one guy who does not bother about my wife's salary. We are friendly and we respect each other. I can work for her if she's my VP also. its all about how confident you are !!!
So, dear lady in the article, dont have such criterias..and dont make man feel you have inferiority complex and you wish to be under his feet all the time. Step out of your old thoughts!! Be some Madam Curie, Kiran Bedi and Kalpana chawla who got husbands who never stopped them from doing awesome inventions and discoveries.
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