Marriage customs

We went to Nandini. We started talking about Deepavali and who are traveling home etc. The topic went to Deepavali customs of newly wed couples invited to in-laws house.

Took AD as example and if he is invited to in-law's house, FIL need to give him a gold ring.

JB: At my town, for 3 months after marriage, the groom will stay in in-law's house.

RS: Daily?

JB: All three meals. The have to treat him royally with proper care. For a guy like me working out of the town, if I marry a girl from that town, I may not be able to opt for that practice. Instead, guys like that used to get some object in return.

GA mentioned that a community in his locality has a different customs. After marriage the groom stays at the girl's house .. forever. This is the custom practiced at all marriages.

JB: At other places rarely such marriages happens. If it does, it means due to a rich parents not interested to send off their girl to another house. Usually they do not get a match as per their status. They have to go slightly below their status to find a guy to accept that norms. Also they might have to pay a hefty dowry for that.

GA: Even in that community, dowry is normally huge.

JB: So, if the boy gets the dowry amount, will he brings the money to the girl's house? :-)

GA: No. May be money goes to the guy's father.

JB: In our community, we normally do not ask for cash. We ask for gold and that gold belongs to the girl alone.

JB: Also one more good thing in my community is, the groom's side and the bride's side during marriage ceremony arranges two separate halls .. may be some distance apart. Both the parties do not mix each other. During the rituals, groom's side start a procession and reach the girl's hall. Marriage happens and immediately the groom's relatives go back to the groom's hall for feast. Even if the girl's side ask them to have food at girl's hall, they will deny to do that. The expense incurred by one party is borne by the same party. In that sense, lots of quarrels are avoided and the marriage expenses are shared equally.

RS: That looks good.

JB: However, I am not for a marriage which spends lakhs of rupees and waste the money on two days. Instead, I will have a simple marriage in a temple like I did and invest that money in some properties or savings.

SJ: Well, marriage is an occasion where the money gets spread out and many get employed. Instead of buying one property, you diverse the money for many to get benefited. Particularly that is the time when black-colored money comes out.

JB: I agree that for a wealthy person such splash out are needed or acceptable. Think about the most common marriages .. happening in the have-not families. They still need to keep their family pride or status. They borrow the entire marriage expenses, bloat it out in two days and suffer for the life. That is pathetic.