Wednesday, October 23, 2024

The Promiscuous Man: A Jungian Perspective



Why are some men loyal while others stray? When I first pondered this question, I turned to ChatGPT for an exploration of the reasons behind male promiscuity. The responses spanned various fields—evolutionary biology, cultural norms, social psychology, and more. Each provided valuable insights into why some men might be more inclined toward promiscuity than others. However, my curiosity led me deeper, to a less conventional but psychologically rich framework: Jung's concept of the anima.


Before delving into how the anima might play a role in such behaviors, let’s first address some common critiques and misunderstandings around this theory.


Understanding the Anima


What is the Anima?  

The anima is a concept introduced by Carl Jung in the early to mid-20th century, most notably expanded upon in the 1950s. According to Jung, every man carries within his unconscious mind a feminine image—his anima. This inner feminine manifests as a collection of traits and potentials traditionally associated with "feminine" qualities, such as emotional receptivity, intuition, creativity, and sensitivity. Jung believed that the anima acts as a guide between the conscious mind and the deeper layers of the psyche, influencing how a man relates to women and even how he relates to his own inner life.


Is the Anima Scientific?  

No, the anima is not considered a scientifically validated concept in contemporary psychology. While Jung's theories have been influential, they also face significant critiques. Many modern approaches have sought to improve upon or deviate from Jung's ideas, such as:

  •  Sandra Bem's androgyny theory, which suggests that individuals embody both masculine and feminine traits, allowing for a more fluid understanding of gender roles.
  •  Gender schema theory, also proposed by Sandra Bem, which argues that gender is socially constructed and learned through cultural norms rather than being an inherent archetype.
  •  Raewyn Connell’s work on hegemonic masculinity, which introduces the idea of multiple masculinities and femininities, shaped by social contexts.
  •  Object relations theory, which emphasizes how early relationships with caregivers form internal patterns that influence future behavior.
  •  Queer theory and non-binary perspectives, which challenge the notion of fixed gender identities or inherent traits, promoting a view of gender and sexuality as fluid and socially constructed.


Despite these valid critiques and alternative frameworks, I find the Jungian theory compelling for its simplicity and symbolic depth, offering a way to relate my personal experiences to a broader psychological framework.


The Anima Projected onto Reality

Jung posited that a man's relationship with his anima affects how he projects this inner feminine onto the women in his life. The anima can be clear and well-integrated or fragmented and hazy, and this internal state influences how a man relates to others.


The Loyal Man

When a man's anima is integrated and well-defined, he is more likely to exhibit qualities such as loyalty, emotional stability, and the capacity for deep commitment. In this case, his anima serves as a mature inner guide, helping him focus his desires on a single partner, often leading to monogamous relationships. Love, care, and emotional connection become central themes in his romantic life because the anima is not merely an unconscious force but an integrated aspect of his personality.


For such a man, the anima acts as a source of emotional depth, enabling him to engage in meaningful relationships. His clarity about what he seeks in a partner allows him to project his inner feminine onto one person, rather than scattering his projections across many. This integration fosters a sense of wholeness in his relationships, where he seeks not just physical attraction but also emotional and spiritual connection.


The Promiscuous Man

In contrast, a man who engages in promiscuous behavior may have an anima that is fragmented or unclear. In Jungian terms, this means his anima is less integrated into his conscious self, creating inner confusion and restlessness. The lack of a clear anima image leads to a tendency to project the anima onto multiple women, as though he is seeking different aspects of his own inner feminine in each partner. This can result in a pattern of seeking novelty and sensation, rather than deeper emotional fulfillment.


The hazy anima may compel the promiscuous man to constantly pursue new partners, as he is unconsciously searching for an ideal that remains elusive. His relationships may lack emotional depth or permanence because he is not fully aware of what he seeks. The anima, in this case, operates at a more primitive level, closer to Jung's archetype of the temptress or seductress, where the unconscious motivations are driven by the pursuit of pleasure rather than genuine connection.


It’s important to clarify that this doesn’t imply such a man is entirely without control or responsibility. Rather, his unconscious projections may lead him to see potential in many different women, blurring the line between infatuation and true attraction. The anima's unresolved state makes it difficult for him to form lasting attachments because each new encounter feels like a potential fulfillment of an inner longing that remains undefined.


Personal Reflection

On a personal note, I’ve observed instances where I found a woman unattractive at first, but over time, through conversations and shared experiences, I began to see her as beautiful or appealing. This shift could relate to the anima's dynamic nature, where initial projections may change as one’s understanding deepens. It suggests that the anima is not static; it evolves with the individual, shaped by experiences and conscious reflections.

(Refer Mere exposure phenomena)


Applying Anima Theory to Animus in Women

While this discussion has focused on the anima in men, a similar process occurs with the animus in women, which represents their inner masculine qualities. Just as the anima can influence a man's behavior in relationships, the animus can shape a woman's approach to romantic and personal dynamics. The principles of projection, integration, and the search for inner balance apply to both the anima and animus, though the specific qualities they embody may differ.


Conclusion

Jung's concept of the anima provides a symbolic framework for understanding why some men exhibit loyalty while others pursue multiple partners. It suggests that our inner psychological landscape, shaped by the integration or fragmentation of the anima, influences how we relate to others in the external world. While the anima theory is not without its critics and is not considered scientifically validated, it offers rich insights into the symbolic and unconscious aspects of human behavior.


Understanding and integrating the anima can help foster emotional balance, creativity, and deeper connections, guiding individuals toward a more holistic sense of self. Whether through loyalty or promiscuity, our behaviors often reflect the state of our inner world—a world where the anima plays a subtle but powerful role.


Monday, July 18, 2022

அப்பாக்கள் பலவிதம்

 


Mixture அப்பா 

தன் வேலையில் மூழ்கி இருப்பார்.  பாசம் கிடையாது.  யாருக்கும் பிரேசனம் இல்லை .







வெளிநாட்டு அப்பா 


டெய்லி பேசுவார் (போனில்).  கேட்டதுக்கு எல்லாம் பணம் அனுப்புவார், தேவைக்கு அதிகமாகவே.  நிறைய பாசம் இருக்கிறது, கண்டம்விட்டு கண்டம் தாண்டியதால் எதையும் காட்டமுடியாது.  அருகில் இல்லாததால் பிள்ளைகளின் வளர்ச்சில் பங்கேற்பு zero








Jolly அப்பா 

இவருடன் இருந்தால் ரொம்ப நல்லாயிருக்கும்.  சிரிக்க சிரிக்க பேசுவார். நல்லா பாத்துப்பார். ஆனால் பசங்க வாழ்க்கை, முன்னேற்றம்? அது  இவருக்கு தெரியாது.







கறார் பேர்வழி 

உங்க பையன இவர் கிட்ட விடுங்க. அடிச்சு தொவைச்சாச்சும் Engineer ஆக்கிடுவார்.  பாசம் என்ன விலைன்னு கேட்பார்.







செல்வாக்கு 

பெரிய பணக்காரர். கவுரவம், அந்தஸ்து, bank balance - அடிக்கடி உபயோகிக்கும் வார்த்தைகள்.  தன்னுடைய plan முக்கியம்னு பொண்ண பாழும் கிணத்தில் தள்ளுவார் .










No choice அப்பா 
நல்லது நினைப்பார். தான் நினைப்பதுவே நல்லது என முடிவோடு இருப்பார்.












Middle class அப்பா 

நாம நிறைய பாத்து பழக்கப்பட்ட அப்பா.  பாசம் இருக்கு - காட்டலாமா கூடாதான்னு ஒரு குழப்பம்.  பசங்க பரிட்சையில் நல்ல mark வாங்கினால் நல்லா settle ஆகிடுவாங்கனு நம்புறவர்.  அவங்க முன்னேற்றத்திற்கு வேறு எதுவும் பண்ண தெரியாது.  






Super star அப்பா 

பாசக்காரர்.  சுதந்திரமா வளப்பாரு.  முன்னேற தூண்டுகோலா இருப்பார்.  அவளுக்கு ஒன்னு வேணும்னா ஊரையே புரட்டி போட்டு காரியத்தை சாதிப்பார்.












Monday, October 14, 2013

Virus



Year 2050 AD

Yesterday I started feeling strange things at house.  The microwave burnt the food, thou I set the right timing.  Couple of light bulbs are glowing dim.  Today the bathroom shower was focused towards bedroom, beds got drenched.  Even the medicine cabinet got shuffled.

I think all these things started after my son downloaded a game in the TV.  Some malware got into the home activity system. 
I don't want to call the VET(virus eradicating team).  They will seal off the house to prevent contaminating other houses.  Instead let me check if my son can fix the problem.

Hope nothing worse happens.  This is the problem connecting everything online.

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Creativity

My 4 yr old daughter picked a bowling set for kids.  We started playing by rolling the ball to the pins.  After a while, she asked if we can play another game.  She defined the rules.  The ten pins of 4 different colors are placed in the floor.  First person should close the eyes.  Other person should pick any of the pins and hide it.  First person should open the eyes and identify the color of the missing pin.  We played 2 or 3 rounds of this game and it was very interesting.  It was an ah! moment to see her invent a new game.

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Laptop battery maintenance

The well known tips for maintaining laptop battery is to allow full charge of the battery, and remove the power. Use the laptop till the battery is drained and recharge to full again. Watching the battery usage is difficult and hard to switch on and off. Instead the system should have taken care of this. The charging should be cut off once 100% charge is done. Same way, when the battery runs low below a threshold, power flow should be switched on.

Hope we will have this in future.

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Our words over time

Happen to read a tamil saying, "KAlam pOkum; vArththai nRkkum". (reference "iniya thamizhil ilakkaNap pizhaiyinRi eluthum muRaikal" page 171). Roughly this proverb conveys "Time flies off, words stick around". What a deep sounding wisdom. When we recollect our past and experience, how true is this wordings!

Thirukural 129 gives a similar view. "Fire burn cures quickly. Hurting words leaves a scar and never forgotten."

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Why are we here?

A popular and interesting philosophical question is about our purpose in the world. Why did we take this life and what are we supposed to do? Considering any living being, after birth it need to look out for food, develop skills that are passed thru gene, and find a mate. Reproduce, raise children.

Human beings are slightly complex. We not only have to find food, but find food in a sophisticated manner. Learn different fields of studies, make yourself eligible for jobs, be street smart, land up in decent paying job. Looking carefully at the job ordeal, we see that such a complex process is not only for food, but also a yardstick to reach a better mate.

Considering all angle and aspects, life seems to focus on mating and leave a good signature through your children.

Saturday, August 20, 2011

Hint for sudoku

I keep playing sudoku at http://www.websudoku.com Most of the time I solve the puzzle easily. There are situation where it is difficult to make any logical move. We get stuck without able to post numbers in any of the cells.

In such cases, I usually fill all the empty cells with the probable numbers that can fit in that cell. For eg, I place the numbers 278 if these three numbers have a chance of being placed in a cell. With all empty cells having such probable numbers, it is easy to apply some deduction logic to narrow down the correct numbers.

Filling in the probable numbers is a tedious task. I came up with a simple java code that would help in filling the numbers (just the hint, not the actual answers).

Instruction to use the code:
  • Install watij as mentioned at http://watij.com/webspec-api/
  • Copy the java code I had placed in the comment section (placed in 3 comments due to comment size restriction)
  • run the java code along with the classpath pointing to watij class and jars
  • This will open a window and websudoku site is opened
  • Settings page is accessed automatically and few settings are tweaked
  • once you get the puzzle page, play it as you would do in normal manner
  • When you get stuck, click on the 'Done' button in the top panel. The button name is marked as 'pauseUntil'
  • we should have numbers filled now. Once that happens, continue with the game

Happy sudoku.

Sunday, January 09, 2011

software for spammers

we all know about the princess with enormous wealth waiting for your help. Also the oil company needing your bank account to transfer billions of $. Wondering what kind of software tools and support these spammers use. Sure enough they have a powerful source of email ids. What is beyond them? Do they shoot out the mails and just wait for victims? How do they keep track of day to day activity with each victims?

I would suggest to go for a data managed system. Each victim is tracked stage by stage. The spammer could pull out particular record, quickly glance through the past conversation and development. Based on that, the current mediation could be exchanged. Template builders and generators could be another big plus for the spammer. Need a company establishment proof? The template engine would put appropriate date, time, place etc and churn out the required records. A visa with victim's detail is also a easy go.

Financial income from the victim could be tracked as well. This again helps in judging how much more to extract.

Data could be analyzed across the system, that is with all the victims' data. This data crunching will give interesting answers to questions like: how effective is spamming? which stage is tough to convince the victims? what strategy is working well and which is not? what is the average time to see the money? how to improve the income and increase the victims?

Wish some spammer sees this blog and contact me, not for spamming but for designing this system :-)

Monday, December 20, 2010

An idiot who sold a ship

Author: Vijay Walia
Interesting book on self help, inspirational, and a text for sales person. The most I liked in the book is the simplicity. Lots of anecdotes are given from different walks of life. Pictorial presentations are nice. Each chapter is short and crisp, with continuity between the chapters.

Not sure how much depth and stuff this book contains; but definitely worth a quick read or as a light reading.

The author address himself as 'I', 'He' or 'the idiot'. Quite confusing to know which person he is addressing. 'The idiot' mentioned in so many places seems artificial and irritating.

Friday, September 24, 2010

Mangalore design





This picture is the railing we used in our home staircase. If you go around Mangalore or Udupi homes, you will find the same design. It is as thou this area people love this and imbibed in their homes. Here is the story behind the uniform installment.

When I was looking around for such design material, the vendor gave out a brochure. I carefully went through different designs, compared them each other, choose few, rejected some. After 30 mins or so, I came up with a preference list and showed them to the vendor. He was quick enough to tell those designs were not available and pointed only two designs possible. Also, out of two, he cautioned not to go for one because it was cloth unfriendly (saree or dhothi gets stuck in such design).

I came to know about another shop with wide range of selection. I approached them and enquired about few designs. They called their suppliers in Mumbai and confirmed those designs were available. However the cost quoted was double the times compared to the previous shop.

That is how I (and most of Mangaloreans) ended up with the Mangalore design railing pattern. We are waiting for one soul to purchase a new design from shop B, so that the new design will subsequently be added to the local menu. Hope that new design is cloth friendly.

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

official mail

I had to send an email to 10+ folks at office and gather their response. I sent one email addressing them in general and cc-ing bunch of managers. I didnt get any response.

Then I sent 10+ emails. Directly addressing them, placing their name in the subject and cc-ing none. An email was sent to one member only. I got response from all.

Just wondering what is the key behind this situation. Did they respond because they are directly responsible and hold accountable? But managers were not informed, so they could have deferred.

Anyway I got what I wanted and a new technique to apply at such scenario.

Sunday, May 09, 2010

night lights

Have you taken time to notice lights? What is about lights? While strolling in the night time, watching the lights surrounding you. The hazy yellow light from a distance street lamp, dull white light from a near by shop, the head light and tail light of a passing by cars. Some funky bikes have fancy colored led lights, bright blue, green, red blinking together. Then the faithful traffic lights, mercury lamps, stadium lights, lights, lights and more lights.

One interesting facts about these lights is the way they kindle one's past life. Some of the lights brings me strange feelings inside me. They transport to a distance past, to a distance place. A place where we had been on a night, where there was a similar light glowing as a witness. A dim light from a distance carries a dimness, sadness of its own - just as a dieing star emitting out its last portion of energy.

ok, let me save this blog before the lights goes off due to frequent power cuts.



Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Astronomy sun vs astrology sun

Here is a thought about astrology and the symbols used in this field.

History of fore-telling ought to have been practised from pre-historic times, may be before even civilisation formed. As hunters, they would have tried to figure the future with local gods, priest; and used tools like dices, flowers, bones, bird movement, black cream on leaves etc etc. N number of devices might have been used, but their queries would have fallen into a countable categories. will I come back safe from the hunt, can we expect a good game, will my wives and kids be safe till I return, what will the enemies' strategies ... not much of today's queries.

Anyway, the tools used got sophisticated as technology improved. Crystal ball, card reader, palm leaf prediction, Nostradamus poems, computer prediction etc. One such field would have been astrology, developed when astronomy and astronomical terminology became popular. Astrology might have borrowed the terminologies and designed a confusing tables to obscure from common man. The zodiac sign in astrology may be more of symbols and notation than the actual star and planets. Something like algebraic notation like x,y used to mean something in an equation but they don't refer the actual alphabets.

So, this again boils down to constructing a sophisticated system with hify buzz words to cheat people. Weak minded folks who cant accept uncertainty fall prey to these foretelling traps.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Power of negative thinking Part 3

Here is an authenticate proof for the "power of -ve thinking".
Happen to go thru this article on
Why Positive Thinking is Bad For You.
The summary of above article is When Positive Thinking Creates Unnecessary Stress

The summary of above summary is:
Dont worry about fixing every 'problem' you come across. Most of them may not be problems. Or the fix is costlier than going thru the pain.

Sunday, March 28, 2010

a farmer's suicide

I am a farmer owning a fertile land portion near a river. I remember good times when the crop yield was high and generating surplus money. Gone are those days. We, farmers, started using fertilizers and ended up with corrupt land. We spoiled the fertility with chemicals and now suffering from surprising results.

The city used to be a distance place and we had our own undisturbed life. These days the city is sprawling out of proportion and had grown very near to us. Soon it will gulp our little village. The cost of village has already started growing up. Our life style seem to modernize and improve with city air, but that is leaving a gloomy heart at the end. Even the crops, land and water are turning impure, pollination has reduced.

I had to spray chemical bottles thrice a season. Each bottle costed me Rs 300. The seed cost, preparation, labour etc ran into few thousands. The money used to be on rotation. Borrow the money from the merchant and sell the cultivated crop back to him. Good yield goes through smooth. However, difficult times like now is what mounting stress at many points.

I contemplated on selling off the land and settling the few thousand outstanding. However with improper title records, complexities of selling agricultural land, bureaucracy etc stopped me from attempting that.

I cannot hold any more. This is too much for a tiny man - to face the gigantic problems, stir through the trouble, reach a safe harbour - no, I dont think I can do. I had decided to put a stop this flow; it is just like cultivation .. you grow the crop and cut it when rip. I see my life like that. Only that I feel like going towards rotten state. Let me reap myself.

Oh river! you had breathed life into the crops year after years, generation after generation. You had given life to all of us. In return I could give only by swollen body. Be kind to shovel it off to the shores.

The water flow is calm but strong at this time of the year. I am standing at the brink of a small bridge. Last thing I want to do is pray good for my family. Let them flourish with whatever support they could get.

A car from the city stopped by on the side of the road. Had someone seen me at stopping to help me out? No, nobody is shouting or rushing. A man in thick suite got out of the car and moved towards the edge of the bridge. He dragged his heavy frame of body over the bridge railings. That is the time he saw me. I could sense his feelings through his eyes. The same destructive forces. There was a stillness in the air. He slowly started the conversation and enquired about me. I told my situation in short and asked about him.

He: I am a businessman. Thought of givings up my life due to recent transactions.

Me: Lot of loss?

He: No, it should be a profit.

Me: How much?

He: Petty. Should be near 15 million.

Me: WTF?!!! Then why?

He: Well, it is not the kind of money I used to make. These days I am doing bad enough to get into deep depression.

I started walking back to my home.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Power of negative thinking Part 2

This is an extension theory of part 1. A broader application.

Many people complain about life in this manner, "I have been good to everyone, I dont know why things like this happen". They imply that by being good (as per their own measurements), they are bound to be showered with goodness. The expectation is that by default the system they are in ought to be nurturing their current needs and demands. Any deviation from their mind plan is considered as unfair.

Let us wear our negative hat. See the world as a horrible place with vicious people around. We will never have problem dealing with one or two bad events. It is not that we will have to be pessimistic that the system will be always bad. There would be patches of goodness, but dont expect to have it at all place, all times.

Here is the above point illustrated with an analogy. By nature a land would grow out useless weeds and harmful thorns. Manual efforts like ploughing, sowing, watering, etc would give useful yield. Same way the default behaviour of the surrounding system is not conducive for our life plans; hard work is required to turn negativity into positive results.

Monday, March 15, 2010

Thank god, got the long awaited government job

That is the title of the story.

Story:
14th Aug 1947 11am IST

Sunday, January 31, 2010

Power of negative thinking

I was waiting for a craftsman to show up. This type of craftsmen are notorious to break their words and discard the appointments. They dont meet; puzzling thing is .. why dont they deny service instead of making false promises. Even if they start, they seem to drag the work and borrow more time. Had this experience four or five times with this particular workmen, also heard from others. They are branded for this attitude.

Anyway, here I am waiting for one of them. The time starts to slip. I could either tune up some positive thinking or negative thoughts. I choose to think negative. I thought the chap wont turn up. Odd things happened inside me. A lighter sense of being, with less tension and pressure developed. Turning off the expectations reduced the stress level. It was good at that time.

To keep up his clan's tradition, he didnt turn up. That didnt affect me as the negative aurora insulated me from the harsh externals.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Modern life

Delhi was chilling by the Sunday early morning fog. Grandma was shiveringly waiting at the bus stop. A skoda car skid through the wet road and stopped in front of her. Grandma was glad her grandson, Aditya, came on time to pick her. She had quite a good amount of luggage from the far off village, mainly eatables for Aditya's family. Also as this is her first trip to the metro, she had equipped herself with enough clothing to sustain winter climate.

Aditya and the car gave a warm welcome to the guest and they were on their way to home. Aditya's home is a mini villa tucked in a quite corner of the city. Few minutes of distance from the buzzing main road gives them enough silence amidst the crowd. An architect designed compact house with all essential features and tipping towards luxury.

Aditya's wife Sinu received them well. Thou married for 5 months, she had interacted with Aditya's relatives over phone and jelled nicely with them. Sinu took grandma to guest room and showed her the house. Breakfast was ready in short while and they were enjoying the day.

Grandma was quite comfortable in two day stay and got to know much about the new member of her family. One thing started bothering grandma in her visit. The bedroom. She happen to notice that Aditya and Sinu happen to come out of different rooms in the morning. Aren't they sleeping together?!! This was a shock and worried if there is a drift between the newly married couple.

Thou an experienced women, grandma was hesitant to raise the matter to the city girl. She was afraid of the repercussion of a straight talk. However she couldn't take the matter lightly. Things were bothering and clouding in her mind.

As she was helping Sinu in the kitchen (when Adi was not around), slowly grandma brought up her doubt. She politely asked without being nosey, to find why they sleep in separate bedroom. Sinu burst out a spontaneous laugh upon hearing grandma's disturbing question. She controlled her laughter and answered to puzzled grandma, "No ma, there is no friction between us; except that I need a bed lamp while sleeping and Adi want pitch dark room, he cant sleep with light. So, when we feel really sleepy, he goes to the other room!". Grandma responded with a relief, embarrassingly smile.